So, let me tell you guys about my house on Karen Lane. In 2007, I took the bold leap into home ownership. I was 24 years old, single, and I had literally no idea what I was doing. After looking at a few houses, I was absolutely SOLD on this super cute house on Karen Lane. This house was just the cuuutest! It was the perfect size and color, plus the layout was just what I wanted, and priced exactly right!  It seemed perfect for me! My realtor contacted the seller right away, only to find out that they had just accepted an offer. I. Was. Crushed.

Although I really enjoyed touring different homes around the city, I was kinda over it and ready to find my home… and the home I wanted was on Karen Lane. Over the next couple of weeks, my realtor would take me to see other homes, but I’d still drive by Karen Lane, just to see if that Under Contract sign was gone. Every time I passed by, it was still there. I even prayed for the deal to fall through, LOL!! (Don’t judge me!) Listen, in my mind Karen Lane belonged to me, and me alone! One day I passed by Karen Lane, and the Under Contract sign was gone. My heart leaped with excitement; my prayers were answered! Karen Lane, I’m coming home, Baby!! As I got closer to my home, I realized that the Under Contract sign, was now a SOLD sign. I was so disappointed!

Inasmuch as I was disappointed, I knew that I still had work to do, and a home to buy. I eventually found another home that I really liked and decided to purchase, but from time to time, I found myself thinking about Karen Lane. You see, I’d already envisioned my life there. I knew how I’d place my furniture and my Christmas Tree. I’d seen myself going out on the deck for my morning coffee. I’d planned gatherings and was looking forward to hosting my family and friends. I had completely settled into Karen Lane long before I’d taken any of the steps to actually purchase the property. I had no contract, no commitment, no inspection. All I had was my feelings and my imagination.

Over the years, I’d gotten over Karen Lane, but a while back, I went to meet a new client, and Karen Lane was on the way to their home. As I turned on to familiar street, I was kind of excited, almost nervous, to see my old home…well, you know, the one that was never really mine. As I got closer, to where I remember the house sitting, I couldn’t really figure out which house it was. None of the homes in the vicinity looked like my home. I didn’t even RECOGNIZE the house I was once so in love with! I went on to see my client, and as I drove back down Karen Lane, looking at the homes…still not able to figure out which house I toured, two thoughts came to my mind.

1. I’d completely planned my life in a home that I had not even began to take the steps towards purchasing, nor had I checked to see if it was even worth the asking price.

2. The home that was seemly so perfect for me was unrecognizable to me a few years later.

I’m not gonna lie to you, this kind of bothered me. I started to think about so many other times that I’d believed something was truly destined for me without putting any meaningful time or thought into it. I mean, how many times had I met someone, gone on a couple dates, and just decided that they were perfect for me before really taking the time to get to know the real them? How many times had I applied for a job and already started calculating my new salary, or planning my commute without even going on the interview to see if the position was a good fit for my life and career goals? I’m telling you, those thoughts entered my mind like movie. I was able to see so many instances (way more than I want to admit) where I had made permanent plans based on my feelings and my imagination.

How many times do you start making plans for the future based on your feelings at that moment alone? Whew! Listen, I don’t believe in living in regret, but being able to recognize your mistakes, and learn from them is an essential life key.

Remembering all those times that I could have avoided the disappointment, and sometimes down right pain, of learning that a relationship, purchase, or opportunity wasn’t all that I imagined it to be, was a really uncomfortable feeling, but instead of turning the radio up a little louder to distract myself (we’ve all done it), I decided to sit with the discomfort. I thought of ways to think more logically, and less emotionally when it comes to making decisions about something I REALLY want. For me, this looks like asking myself a few questions.

1. In this situation (relationship, purchase, opportunity, etc.) what am I hearing and seeing? Am I hearing what I want to hear? Am I and seeing what I want to see?
2. Is this worth it? Is what I plan to invest (time, feelings, money, etc.) worth the expected outcome?
3. Is this a good fit for me? (Does this align with my core values, my goals, my morals/beliefs?)

These are some of the questions I ask myself before I begin to become emotionally invested into something that I may need to allow to pass me by. Do I always get it right? Ahhh…no, BUT I think I get it wrong a whole lot less these days. To be honest, it’s not a test; it’s not about getting something wrong or right. There is no foolproof way to always make the right life decisions and never get it wrong. That’s unrealistic. We need to make some mistakes; that’s how we learn. What’s important is that we slow down and put boundaries in place to protect our energy, our peace, and our hearts. So, when we reeealllly want it, let’s make sure to check in with ourselves to see if we’re making a good decision for our entire being… our present, and our future.

If any of this resonates with you, I’d love to hear from you! Do you have any tips to share with me? You guys know I love some good life chat! Feel free to comment here, or email me at christine@cmbconnections.com.